Allowing Harnesses Divine Powers

How a horse helped me trust with more clarity, ease and grace.

Note: my co-author Hannah, is at far right of photo

February 2022. Carefree, Arizona. Unexpected changes delayed (mind's view) and paused (divine view) me in Arizona for two weeks longer than planned. Injured dog. Whispers of new career possibilities. Aging parents. Circumstances requiring me to wait for answers. Timelines beyond my control.

Waiting and surrendering. Not easy for a vata-pitta mind. However, the travel change switchbacked me on divine reroute, leading to Reigning Grace Ranch. The delay transformed into a sacred pause. At a ranch in the middle of desert. Learning to be led. Rerouting fear to trust, by becoming better at following. Hannah, my attentive, gentle therapy horse, showed me how easy it is to be the comfortable follower when someone trustworthy is leading.

My friend Tracy, an Equus Therapy and life coach, invited me to Reigning Grace, where amazing grace helped me better harness supreme creative energies. Our session helped me drop reins of control, and more fully accept and trust divine timing.

A sacred pause is comfortable expectancy.

Many times over past 4 years, what at first looks and feels like sudden, stressful unknowns, turns out to be yet another amazing experience according to the Divine Blueprint for my Soul's Mission. Such was my ranch adventure.

Through iron gates (ranch, corral, and my mind), I opened more into patient acceptance of where I am in life. Geographical and career...still in transition. Well, before my Carefree experience, more like antsy in transition. Financial stress regarding job scene in small Northern Michigan town, where both the lake and economy freezes in winter(which lasts 5 months), had me gripping the reins and chomping at bit. Even though I know Universe is providing and Spirit is guiding, skittish episodes crescendoed this past winter. Until grace and Hannah- a painted, rescue mare, reined me hOMe. To heart space, where waiting feels like Nana’s embrace and forsythia spring buds.

Driving into ranch, I pass large corrals of horses, cattle, donkeys, and pigs. Their looks mirror my own awareness and curiosity. Air smells like rainclouds, hay, and manure. Biological trinity of life. As I park next to shed, I feel curious excitement.

Tracy welcomes me with a hug. We walk to another shed. Would you like to pick out a harness? I stare at a rainbow of harnesses. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue purple, pink, white, black. Thick ropes, thin ropes. I choose green. For heart center and saguaro sentries. Tracy invites me to take it off wall. Then asks, Are you ready to meet your horse?

We walk to large corral, where 50 horses of all colors, sizes, and breeds are relaxing or eating at several hay buffets. Already, I feel mind relax, as I am reminded my life path now offers many options, and I have co-power to choose what feels aligned with desire.

Releasing control grip allows grace to reign.

I notice a lone white horse wearing a fly mask. She looks over, then looks away. My eyes scan the herd. Some other horses look over, then look away. I'm noticed, yet no one is approaching me. Hah! The first life parallel appears. In my new career pasture- Petoskey, lots of people have noticed me. However, no new wellness coaching clients have approached me yet. I notice I'm clutching the reins. I relax my grip, just a little.

Tracy says, we just wait now. Wait for the horse to approach. He or she will pick you. While waiting Tracy asks me life coaching questions. My focus and energy reroutes to our conversation. But not before I inner whisper a welcome to whoever will choose me.

Within minutes, the white horse with fly mask starts slowing walking towards us. A masked white horse. Another life parallel. I tend to mask my stress with smiles and faith affirmations when people ask me how's it going. This defensive strategy shields me from getting energetically bit by judgment or nebby questions. Yet, what I think is protection, is really a wall. A barrier to fully experience what or who God sends my way. As I soften my grip on harness even more, the white horse is now standing next to me.

This is Hannah. She's chosen you. Tracy asks if I want help with harness. Yes, I need help. I've never harnessed a horse. Another parallel. I need help now, recovering and rebuilding post California disasters, pandemic, furlough/laid off, move to new state and city, and surviving isolation aka a social freeze in my first winter north of the 45th parallel. I've never been in such a puzzle of unknowns.

Tracy shows and helps me with harness. My choice to ask for help reveals another life parallel. My life is a matrix, not a puzzle. Solving mind, seeing problems, is a controlling mind. Allowing mind, seeking possibilities, is an aligning mind.

Hannah and I start walking. Our gaits align. The two of us. Together. Choosing to move forward by allowing to be led.

Seasons of transformation create new space of possibility.

I see how the Petoskey winter, has been a lonnnggg season of BIG transformations. Career and financial reconstruction phase is taking longer than expected. Being holed up in my house, kickboxing fears and worries, is showing me how time-related expectations are stress hold-ups. They rob me of clarity, ease, and peace- creative kindling for making magic. Having expectations is opening a can of whoop-ass. Whereas, being expectant (of miracles) opens my heart. My lovely green harness and sweet heart center. Hannah following me. Our gaits match. Tracy alongside, coaching me along our path. Grip relaxes even more.

I am amazed at Hannah's willingness to trust me. Within just ten minutes of meeting, Hannah allows me to take off her mask; then lead her out of large, open corral. Away from her herd. Across the desert paddock. Tracy asks how I feel. “Well, I’m holding the reins, but not steering. It feels easy.” Tears release mental grips. Another aha hallelujah. Tears and smiles create rainbows during mental thunderstorms. Hannah flutters an exhale, reminding me how exhales are the releasing and letting go breath. Another parallel transforming control into surrender, and, leading me into alignment.

I’m kinda nervous leading this big animal I just met, but Hannah’s making it feel easy. Yes, easy. Allowing can be easy. Allowing to be led feels like freedom.

My heart whispers, sweet Kel, allow yourself to be led, trusting in the One leading The Way. I stroke Hannah's neck, sweet talking as we move through another gate, and into more open space. More openings. New space. Opening more creates more, new space.

We continue walking. Just the two of us. Together. Choosing to move forward, by allowing to be led.

Soft desert sands. Slow, steady pace. Last night's winter storm is now remnant cloud billows. Distant mountains dusted in snow. Carefree just beyond. Just beyond my Petoskey winter, there is a springtime. And, just beyond my career and financial reconstruction, is land flowing abundant with milk and honey. Hannah’s willingness to follow helps me loosen control reins regarding where my Divine Blueprint is taking me now. The clouds above applaud- Bravo! Keep following heart's cues and subtle signs. And remember, you ARE being led, not wandering.

Walking with Hannah feels easy. I recognize how I often block ease and joy, by thinking I have to blaze the trails. The green harness. Hannah. The gates. The clouds. All reminders to surrender and follow. This stretch of my life journey is not the time or space to lead. It's an opportunity to trust the way. Sometimes spiritual bushwhacking requires me to follow. To allow myself to be led. To step aside, surrender control, and change my stride in order (and holy chaos) to move forward. This IS the path to land of Carefree. And, it flows with ease and abundance.

Release control to know by trusting the One leading The Way

Tracy coaches. Hannah follows. I listen and observe- superpowers for transformation. Hannah relaxes and trusts, as I relax and merge more into curiosity. I reckon old fight or flight patterns. Being still in career pauses and financial pan-ick moments are difficult. But, what if I stop mental trailblazing. And instead, visualize myself being led. Led by someone I trust- God. Hannah nickers. I laugh. Hallelujah chorus.

We continue walking. Just the two of us. Together. Choosing to move forward, by allowing to be led.

We enter another gate, at our destination. I wonder, what if “I allow” becomes “all wow”. Unshackled and free. Free of having to know which way do I go now. Free of having to make a big decision now. Hannah's head nudges my low back. I pause and stroke her head. Our stillness feels like freedom.

Free to be in a Sacred Pause, versus a scared wait. Free to be still and wait a little longer, instead of fighting and flighting scenarios of “do I give Petoskey a few more months?” “Or, move to Arizona, closer to my folks and better economy with larger client potential.”

In the round pen, Hannah lets me lead her around the circle. She matches my gait. Half round the circle, tears well in my eyes. I hear God say, “sweet Kellen, walk with me. Let me lead you.”

Tracy asks if I want to try walking without harness. I do. Hannah follows. I stroke her neck as we walk another circle. This time sans harness and lead. Easy, slow strides...together. With each step, I feel more allowance and acceptance about not knowing the way right now. Geographical state. Career path destination. Meeting new clients. I am now allowing the 100% certainty of my vocation to merge into uncertainty and unknowns of "where-abouts" and now-whens". Allowing to be led is harnessing divine powers.

Moving forward with more clarity, ease and grace.

Just like Hannah, free of her harness and fly mask, I am free of self-criticism's shroud and control's noose. Pesky thoughts puncturing my heart with biting remarks like, “you’re just going in circles Kellen”, wane as I continue allowing Hannah to help me. Being unharnessed and seeing what happens in the round pen is strengthening our bond. She leans in to me. I lean into her. (photo below)

During last part of visit, Tracy helps me digest the ahas. Hannah wanders around and returns, wanders and returns. I always welcome her with sweet hellos and soft embraces. Hannah, my prodigal horse, gifts me with one last parallel. She reminds me that when I return to Divine Blueprint, and trust the One leading, allowing to be led returns my mind to faith. I leave the ranch, fully glowing and knowing, this current life chapter- returning to home state of Michigan, is about returning to hOMestate of God's embrace.

Later, cozied up at friend's Carefree nest, I write this prayer- a harness of hope to help me move forward when fear or doubt threatens to corral me in procrastination or worry.

A prayer to harness hope
Dear God, I continue walking with you. Just the two of us. Together. Choosing to move forward, by allowing to be led. Help me walk The Way with you in more ease and joy. I promise to trust and allow myself to be led. During times of change, and moments of fear and overwhelm, help me allow grace to rein in my mind, so hope reigns in my heart. I believe faith is a divine harness and prayer the sacred lead rope, both tethering me to hope and patience. May clarity, ease, and grace circle me always and in all ways, as I continue to spiritually bushwhack the path that leads me forward on my Soul's Mission according to your Divine Blueprint. Yeehaw. Giddy up. Amen.

Hannah and Me in Carefree